


what did I do to deserve this

by swablurb



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Suggestive Themes, and also bc she thinks she hears things that aren't actually what she's hearing, it's pretty funny tho at least I think so, it's teen bc pidge starts swearing a lot at one point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 10:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11530029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swablurb/pseuds/swablurb
Summary: prompt: the team is minding their own damn business, doing their own damn things, when suddenly they hear rather... suggestive noises coming from the other room. from small little grunts to 'yeah? that feel good?' and they're fucking HORRIFIED like come on guys at least go somewhere more private?? turns out lance was just giving keith a well-deserved back/shoulder massage :/





	what did I do to deserve this

**Author's Note:**

> just sit back and have a good laugh

Pidge doesn’t ask for much, not really. A bed, her computer, maybe a few techy things to tinker with, some preferably non-goo food, her family; like, it’s not much! She’s just a simple girl with simple needs. So where, exactly, did she go wrong to warrant someone practically twice her height barrelling into her?

She groans, pulling herself into a sitting position. Her ass hurts, as does the back of her head; she winces when her hand brushes against a sore spot. Nudging at her glasses that were knocked off balance, she glares at the fidgeting boy across from her.

“Hunk, what are you doing?” she hisses.

“Shhh,” Hunk wheezes back, raising both hands to shush her. He’s looking behind him anxiously and she scowls, trying to peer around him, but Hunk only waves his arms wildly, blocking her view.

“What?” she asks impatiently. “What’s going on? Is there an intruder again?”

Hunk shakes his head and stands up, offering her a hand. She accepts it grudgingly and pulls herself to her feet, rubbing at her head. He looks nervous about something.

“No,” he says in response to her question and ushers her in the direction that she just came from. She digs her heels in and raises an eyebrow at him. He looks behind him again. “Just… You can’t go in there.”

Pidge crosses her arms.

“Why not?”

“Because uhh…”

“Use your words Hunk.”

Hunk squirms a little bit before he steels himself, standing straight and peering down at her cautiously.

“How…old are you again?”

“Fourteen, Hunk,” she says exasperatedly.

“Right. Okay. Fourteen.” He’s wringing his hands like some damsel in distress now. “That’s…old enough? Maybe? No way–”

“Hunk!”

Hunk stops his flailing and clenches his fists as if to ground himself. He looks around and nudges Pidge a bit more forcefully than before and doesn’t give up until they manage a few more steps down the corridor. Once he’s satisfied with…whatever it is he’s satisfied with, Hunk leans down. Pidge gets the idea and tilts her ear towards him, ready for whatever dramatic news he has for her.

“It’s Lance and Keith,” he stage-whispers and Pidge tries not to cringe at the feeling of someone whispering so closely in her ear. “They’re, uhh, preoccupied right now. In the common room.”

Preoccupied? What the hell does that mean?

She turns her head towards him and asks him so. Hunk frowns, looking around again and Pidge nudges him.

“They’re just! Busy. Yes! Busy…doing things?”

Pidge stares at him. She really does. She stares for a long while before quickly slipping around Hunk and sprinting back towards the common room. Hunk’s yelp of surprise is high-pitched behind her and he doesn’t catch up until she’s hovering at the entrance to the room that Lance and Keith are apparently so preoccupied being in.

Panting from the run over, she tries to steady her breathing, sitting in the hallway outside the room. Casting Hunk’s worried face a quick ‘shh’ in advance, she peeks inside.

The seating of the room is set into the flooring, so she’s expecting to see both of them crystal clear when she looks in since there wouldn’t be anything blocking her view, but all she can see is Lance’s head. The noises however–

It takes her a few seconds to process what she’s hearing: soft grunts, quick breaths, an occasional moan–

“Right there?” she hears Lance ask quietly.

It’s responded to with a stuttered, “Y-Yeah.”

She whirls around and back into the hallway, a hand clasped over her mouth in shock. Her face is burning and Hunk is looking at her in all shades of guilty although none of this is even his fault.

As if to make things worse, Shiro of all people apparates out of fucking nowhere behind Hunk. He looks at them curiously.

“What are you guys up to?” he asks, ever so innocently, and Pidge just wants to send him far far far away; the man’s got enough shit to worry about.

She unfortunately doesn’t get the chance to because just then, a particularly loud ‘ah!’ makes its way into the hallway and into Shiro’s ear canal and down to his eardrums and through to his temporal lobe and suddenly their leader’s face is white as a sheet and Hunk actually has to stand up to make sure the poor guy doesn’t pass out on the floor.

Something like fury boils up inside of Pidge and the burning of her cheeks quickly shifts from embarrassment to anger. What are those two doing? Doing such things? In such a public place? To fucking hell with those idiots’ privacy; she’s going to teach them a lesson about doing shit like this in a place where anyone could walk in. They can keep their exhibitionism to themselves, thank you very much.

With these thoughts in mind, Pidge springs to her feet and stalks inside the room. She can hear the hushed whispers of ‘what the hell are you doing??’ behind her but she ignores them.

“KNOCK KNOCK MOTHERFUCKERS,” she yells upon entering. “You guys have a lot of nerve! Doing what you’re…”

Her voice dies down, as do her words, when she gets close enough to see that the two are actually still very much clothed. Their positions aren’t all that suggestive either. Keith is sitting in front of Lance, although he may have been leaning forward on his elbows earlier; he’s definitely upright now thanks to her loud entrance. Both are cross-legged and staring at her with bewildered and somewhat terrified expressions.

“I–”

Pidge cuts herself off; she doesn’t know what to say. She feels her face heat up again in embarrassment. Quiet footsteps are heard behind her and it’s a few seconds before Shiro speaks.

“What are you guys doing?” he asks carefully.

The two on the couch share a nervous glance, completely thrown off by Pidge’s earlier outburst.

“Keith was complaining about stiff shoulders,” Lance says, gesturing at the boy in front of him, “so I offered to give him a massage.”

Pidge feels her knees give out beneath her. She’s utterly mortified. Next time, she’ll seek quiet in her Lion instead.

**Author's Note:**

>  ~~tbh I posted this here bc it wasn't reaching the desired amount of readers on[tumblr](http://saltenecker.tumblr.com/post/163081835689/prompt-the-team-is-minding-their-own-damn) which is a shame bc this was ridiculously fun to write~~  
>  y'all just love proving me wrong don't you
> 
> also?? btw?? hi check out my [merklance](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11016525/chapters/24548259) fic


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